Why bears definately shit in the woods in Thatcham/Newbury

As I emailed to some of you recently, google maps is good stuff, but I noticed one thing...

Click on hybrid mode over Newbury and Thatcham, and there are no satellite images for either Thatcham or Newbury.

As I suspected, bears in the woods chuck their shit at the satellites as they pass overhead, blocking their view. Thus making Thatcham and Newbury the darkest places in the universe, and probably terrorist hotbeds!

Home made beer diary - day 25

Its calling to me, I don't think I can stop myself.
Its calling to me, I don't think I can hold back.
Its coming, from the gloomy depths of its lair, its resting place.

One beer to rule them all, one beer to find them.
One beer to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Kung Fu Hustle, thoughts

Sorry to be contraversial here, but despite the amusing snake style kung fu clip, the rest of the film is disappointing, much of the choreography is poor, with unconvincing martial artists.

The mix of genre's does not work, and reminds me too much of big gay musicals, (obviously deliberate), but these are just not my cup of tea.

A cross between Paint your Wagon, West Side Story and some other sheisser mixed up with mostly lame martial arts!!!

I would rather see Ong Bak elbows any day, or House of Flying Daggers.

Preparations for BBQ and weather

Hmm, school holidays, my BBQ therefore its going to rain on Saturday, so looks like we might not play croquet after all.

Will have to think of some back up plans, (The Swan for a few pints sounds a likely emergency plan!).

Meantime the beer is sat there calling to me, should be ready by now but I promise not to taste it till the inaugural ceremony!

I can't wait to see Dave the Tank (Darth Limpet) christen his half yard of ale!!!

Home made beer diary - day 14

OK, so my beer survived so far, but the last couple of days it is no longer producing any gas.
Did I deflate it too much? Is there a leak, will it taste really bad now? So many unknowns,
I need a homebrew guru, a beer Jedi, anyone got any ideas?

First things First

Before I tackle anything else today, I am going to Rage Against the Machine, Rant Against the System, launch into a tirade against society and in general manners and behaviour.

What sparked this off was the unpleasant end to a good, fun evening, yesterday.

We all enjoyed ourselves at the comedy in Newbury, then went for some takeaway, in this case a burger at Rio's. We all put our orders in, and Nicky asked for a burger for me, and some chips for herself, clearly enunciating every request.

10 minutes later our food turned up, with Nicky's chips mixed in with my meaty dripping burger with bacon.

When she politely asked for chips not soaked with meaty goodness, the miscreant behind the counter poured them into a fresh container. Obviously this is no good to someone who has spent 14 years chastely avoiding meat products. Nicky politely pointed out she was vegatarian, and at this point the increasingly irate individual threw some more chips on to cook. When Nicky pointed out we had to go catch a train, and had no time to wait for chips to cook, the pleb swore at her, and tried to kick us all out of the shop, swearing and cursing, asking us 'do you know how hot it is in here?'.

Out of principal, Nicky asked for her money back, which she got practically thrown at her.

Outrageous, I am not sure what kind of proprietor, lacking in education, common sense and manners thinks he can swear at his patrons, he must own the place or he would never keep his job, anyway, the moral of the story KEEP AWAY FROM RIO's of NEWBURY.

Plebs, or gimps, morons, cretins, imbeciles are not impressive representations of the species.

I had to throw my burger away, as I only eat food cooked by people with an IQ of more than 43.

Anyway, to top it all off I have been frustrated by people with an inability to queue properly this week. Its fucking simple, you stand behind the person who got there before you, how insanely basic is this principle. Yet it seems at least 50% of people can not manage it!!!!!

And finally, people with those little pieces of shit suitcases on wheels, milling round in other peoples way, WALK TO ONE SIDE get out the fucking way, learn how to make up your minds about where you are going, HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION for others in a race to catch a train.

JESUS H CHRIST, I really need to rule this planet, I can solve at least 87% of all problems facing humanity and the planet Earth.

Lots Happening at the Moment

Belated post for the Reading Beer Festival we had great fun trying to make Rosspo look like a tramp, and invented a great new drinking game, see flickr for some evidence I will be posting eventually. (Not done yet).

Its all go go go, this weekend was golf, War of the Worlds, (good film), Nicky's second Race for Life, and a bbq.

This week is comedy Thursday and Saturday, maybe a pub quiz.

Our homebrew was born one week ago, and so far there has been only one casualty, Daves decided to evacuate itself on his carpet.

Hopefully the remaining beers will survive!!!

Only a couple of weeks till we play half yard of ale at our bbq party.

Too long since my last post

But here I am again now, and with Carls wedding to blog about, we all had a great time (the Newbury Thatcham lot), and there are plenty of photo's to prove it.

Wedding was great, thanks for inviting us Carl and Lorraine.

Drank too much, had a nice cigar, had a bundle with the guys, (including the stag) which nobody managed to catch on film somehow...

Anyway, as for the ultimate picture (finally proving the nature of Rosspo and Limpet Childs relationship...

I have uploaded it to my flickr album!!!!

You should have received invites to view...

My Beautiful Mac Mini has arrived

It was late, but well worth the wait...

It is so beautiful, quiet, fast, it just works.

Everything from unpackaging to plugging in, to switching on, to wireless network to bluetooth keyboard took about 30 minutes, and I have never really worked with Mac OSX before.

If you need a new PC, consider it!!!!!

Any one want excellent Creative 5.1 dolby digital sound system?

Few years old, but works fine, free to a good home.

I am switching to the world of Mac, and just don't need such heavy firepower, as I don't have time to game so much.

Come on you gamers out there...

This has to be seen to be believed

In the usual spirit of Microsoft bashing, please follow these simple instructions for a good laugh:

1: go to http://maps.msn.co.uk
2: click on the 'Get Directions' button
3: Select 'Norway' from the combo box labelled 'Address in'
4: Enter 'Haugesund' in the city field of the start address
5: Enter 'Trondheim' in the city field of the end address
6: Click on 'Get Directions' button
7: laugh, laugh again, then laugh some more

Try reversing the search to prove you don't have to go via England

Still alive after the New Years Eve party

Oh well, back to work, it had to happen sometime, at least I have the consolation that I got to dress up like a Nazi and play with inflatable breasts over the Christmas holiday,

marvellous.

It is outrageous

See this http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4104129.stm

basically they are charging people extra to protect from threats the operating itself is too incompetent to guard against, I am not going to say anymore, it is a most heinous crime, continuing to use Windows is an act of lunacy!

A Marvellous Host and Hostess and the longest game of Jenga ever

Thankyou Limpetboy and Joey for a marvellous party, great food and the longest game of Jenga ever.
But next time we need to force the Ginger Monkey to play the electric shock game.

Now New Years Eve has to live up to that!

In my crusade against Internet Explorer and Microsoft...

you have to check this out, its just the latest in a long list of warnings against IE;


Government says Finnnish with IE


this time an entire government is telling its people they should not be using Internet Explorer,

now add that to the American security bodies who have already said the same things and ......

if anybody is still using IE, why?????????

The Incredibles

Well to cut a long story short, this animated film was as the name suggests, I sat through the whole thing with a big grin on my face, and laughed out loud plenty of times.

Fantastic, great brilliant.

Decent Company

It has come to my attention that you know you work for a decent company when the management are mature enough in their attitude to not require timesheets. Lean, professional competence, no sycophantism, thats the way forward!

It took me some time to realise that I was no longer filling meaningless timesheets out, (where you have to put filling your timesheet out on the timesheet!).

My Crazy Dreams

Dreams, I don't usually remember them, but sometimes, they are just so strange, you can't help but remember them!

Last night I dreamed that people were sewing extra arms on to kill people with, and there were puppies from hell with cloudy dead eyes, who had mouths on their stomachs with vicious teeth, I was trying to kill them with a spade!

This made me remember a dream from a few years ago where I was running round on an island and there were some nuns on a hilltop with a cannon shooting at me.

Which made me remember a dream from before that where I was crucified under water by a cat.

Which in turn made me remember a dream where my friend from school was a changeling, in the form of a video cassete, trying to murder me.

Anyway, thats enough for now, suffice it to say my imagination runs riot when I am asleep sometimes.

Firefox 1.0 final release

In case you are a generally insane person and are not yet using Firefox, release 1.0 final came out today, you must switch now, for security, stability, and in order to use a browser that complies with web standards.

Microsoft suck, quite a lot really, their arrogance in not complying to standards in web design is irritating, and leads to a poorer surfing experience for EVERYONE.

Anyway, enough ranting, the URL is www.mozilla.org.

So Starsky and Hutch

It seems this film has done the rounds and the immortal line is

'Do it!'

marvellous film, much underated!

Happy Gilmore was funny as well, especially seeing Ben Stiller in the role of a dictator rest home blokee!